Dear First Presidency,
I am writing about the one-year waiting period between temple sealings and civil weddings, as is currently the practice in U.S. and Canada. I respectfully request that you inquire of the Lord whether this policy can be changed.
This policy has caused me personal pain, and caused pain to many of my friends and family. I have been an active member my whole adult life. I have held a temple recommend since I turned 12 until present day (20+ years later). But I have been excluded from countless temple weddings, nonetheless. I am one of the youngest siblings in my immediate family, and one of the youngest cousins in my extended family. I was not able to attend any of my cousin’s temple weddings as a result of my not having been endowed at the time (I was too young). I also missed my father’s marriage in the temple, as I was very young at the time. I even missed my dear sister’s temple wedding. Â Missing your own sister’s wedding is completely heartbreaking. I do not understand how this in any way serves the Lord’s purpose.
When my brother got married, he and his dear bride had 11 siblings between the two of them. Only 4 were able to attend, restricted either due to age or church membership status. More than half of their beloved brothers and sisters had to wait outside!
It is very difficult to understand this policy as a member, it is even more difficult to explain to non-members. Many non-members are first introduced to the church through weddings, and it is not a good first impression. The policy seems unnecessarily exclusionary, and at times downright cruel. Why would a mother, who has done so much for her child, be shut out from her own child’s wedding? And why would a convert, who has already changed so much in his/her life, be asked to exclude his/her family? Is this really what the Lord wants? Is this really the impression He wants to give non-members (and members, too) of His church? Is this much pain and ill-will really necessary? Isn’t there a better way?
Please consider taking this issue to the Lord in prayer.
Respectfully,
Amanda Ford
Go take out your endowments: Problem solved…
How about the 17 year old brother who is not old enough?
You completely missed the mark! I guess this is just over some people’s heads.
I’m not sure to whom you are speaking or which mark you refer to. Can you clarify?
I was referring to @Adibobea9. That response is one solution for one person. There are so many other scenarios where that solution won’t work.
Adibobea, you don’t ‘take’ anything ‘out’ of the temple.
In other countries where temple marriages are not legally recognized, like Guatemala for example, Mormon couples are married civilly and are then sealed in the temple in the following days or weeks. Not only is there no harm done, much good is done by allowing all family members to witness the marriage. The one-year wait for US members to be sealed after marrying civilly has caused a lot of unnecessary hurt and pain to good parents simply because they are not of our faith.
Thank you for this article. As one of the youngest children in my family, I felt very excluded from my two sisters’ wedding because of age. I think the idea of aspiring to something higher is good, but what’s the point if you cannot share the moment that is supposed to be the most joyful of your life with those who love you?
I really wish I could have been there for both my sisters’ wedding. I was a bridesmaid waiting in the car. It was a missed opportunity to bond that I will never have again which I hope my future children will never have to experience that exclusion.
I think there is also a stigma around wanting to be married civilly first. (for example: marrying civilly to include a fiancee’s family who is not of the same faith)
Please revisit this. It’s pulling families apart, not bringing them together.
I really appreciate this as well. I hope this issue is taken seriously by the First Presidency.
The Lord’s church is all about worthiness. If you are not worthy, repent and get right with the Lord and you can get your temple recommend and enter the temple. If you are too young, grow up and learn the Gospel and stop feeling sorry for yourself.
Jesus said essentially to follow him abandon your family. Following the Savior is more important than your family. If you don’t understand Jesus’ words, you don’t understand the gospel.
Gwen – the point of this is to ask our leaders to ask The Lord to get rid of the year wait period. This way there is no need to to choose between Jesus and Family. We are not campaigning for everyone to enter into the temple.
The only example of a wedding from the New Testament is the wedding in Canna.
This wedding could not have been a temple wedding as the only temple was in Jerusalem and marriages were not performed in the Jewish temple.
Jesus not only honored this non-temple wedding with his presence, he graced it as the time and place of his first public miracle.
Clearly, Jesus was okay with non-temple weddings.
Great insight! Thank You!!
Gweneth , I find your comments very cruel, and condescending , you clearly have no idea, what it is like to have non member family and friends, get out of your LDS bubble, and open your eyes to the A world where these REAL situations exist, you need to learn compassion methinks.