My daughter and her husband were married in a beautiful garden wedding officiated by their bishop.  Members of their ward and her former ward were lovely and no one tried to convince them to have the temple wedding first.  They did not want to have a wedding and exclude non-member family and friends.  One year later they were sealed and went with good friends from their ward.  I think if members  do what they feel is right for them, the church will eventually have to change the rule.  We  live in Maryland, so it might have gone differently in the more Mormon communities.  I believe the rule should be changed.  I have never met anyone that has married in the temple say I am so happy my non-member parents were not allowed to attend my wedding.

-Lynda